Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I think I am morally bankrupt
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
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