my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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