turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
