How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
