I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
