Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
