come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
