ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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