Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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