Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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