Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
