im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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