the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize