More tranny stories later!
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
