i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
