I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize