rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
