I have demons in me.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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