she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
