i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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