so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
