Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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