i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
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