What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
