He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
