Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
