he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
