I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
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