sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
