Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
That accounts for only three of the penises
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
