i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Randomize
