Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
