He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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