The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
