This girl is more easily done than said...
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
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