I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
