...so i touched it.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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