Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
