Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
