What did we do last night that was yellow?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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