I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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