idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
