I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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