Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
