Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
