I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Can't talk, ducks in the car
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
