You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
