the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
