Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
