The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
