The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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