Christians are straight up FREAKS
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
