how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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