After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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