I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Randomize
