don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
