I think im going to throw up on grandma
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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