Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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