my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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