so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
