dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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