we're chasing vodka with high fives
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
