when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
There r osticjed everywhere
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Randomize
