My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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